


Cafeteria Conversations

by Sabulana



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack, Friendship, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-04
Updated: 2012-06-04
Packaged: 2017-11-06 21:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabulana/pseuds/Sabulana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short crack fic inspired by a conversation during an RP on LJ. </p>
<p>There is a reason Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal will not to eat in the Shinra cafeterias anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cafeteria Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted over on FFN under the same username. I'm slowly moving the stuff I like over to this site. Feedback is always appreciated.

The SOLDIER canteen buzzed with conversation. SOLDIERS, infantrymen and new recruits alike sat around plastic tables discussing everything from latest classes to wondering what it was Zack did to get to spoon-feed Palmer lard every day for two weeks. At a table in the corner, watched be awestruck cadets, sat Shinra's finest First Class SOLDIERS, locked in what appeared to be a deep, meaningful conversation over their lunch.

"I swear, it just twitched!" Genesis hissed. "Watch!"

"That's just you poking it," Sephiroth replied, sounding bored. He refused to look at Genesis's plate at all.

Genesis scowled. "It is not!" He turned to Angeal. "Angeal, you believe me don't you?"

Angeal looked closely at the lump that was the object of their discussion. Covered in a thick, green sauce, there was no telling what it had once been before entering the Shinra kitchens.

The stoic First Class shrugged. "Eat around it?" he suggested.

Genesis pulled a disgusted face and lifted his fork to prod the mystery lump again. The cutlery did not make it within an inch of the plate before the redhead cried out again.

"It moved again! It's alive, I tell you!"

Without looking, Sephiroth took the fork from Genesis' hand and stabbed down with enough force to almost crack the plate.  
"Not any-" Angeal's comment was cut off as the odd lump emitted what could only be called a death squeak.

The entire cafeteria went silent, all eyes on the table where the three Firsts sat. The trio stared in horror and disgust at Genesis' plate.

A few seconds passed.

Sephiroth whipped his head around. "Nobody eats the green stuff!" he ordered sharply.

A few soldiers fled to the bathroom to throw up.

Less than a week after the incident, the science department was forbidden from disposing of specimens by giving them to the cooks. The soldiers who had eaten the green stuff were violently ill for a few days but there were no casualties. Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal vowed never to so much as set foot in the canteen again, a rule they never broke once.

The lump that was on Genesis' plate was never identified and remains a mystery to this day.


End file.
